Sights and Sounds!

So today is my last day Port-au-Prince, and later today I am planning on attempting some type of retrospective. It may not be complete until I am back in the States for a while, but I will start. This morning I wanted to do a post of some pictures and video from church on Sunday and other adventures. :)

On Sunday I went with a team from Georgia to Pastor Pierre's church. It was a small little hot room, but it was a simply lovely service. To get there, we had to walk through a bunch of tents:



When we got there, it was Sunday School, and like I said before, they memorize Scripture every week and stand up and say it aloud to the church. Would that we were so dedicated! We were seated in the front row, as in all Haitian services. In most, I have actually been on stage!



"All Scripture is inspired by God"





They had all of us stand up and introduce ourselves, and I was able to do so in Creole! I was pretty proud, if I do say so myself. My accent may have been a little off, but Miguelson said I spoke the right words. :)

I took some video while we were there. The first is of worship led by Pastor Pierre:



This is of prayer time. One of our leaders made an astute observation- in so many of our services in the States, prayer is a transition time. We bow our heads, and when we look up, the worship leaders are in place. We pray again when it is time for them to sit. Very rarely do we all just focus on talking to God. This was very convicting for me! Prayer is something that does not come naturally to me, but I am shamed and embarrassed when I pray with the Haitians:



This last one is also of worship. Here the services are in Creole, and the translators don't interpret every single thing that happens. They will give us updates sometimes, and they translate the sermons. Sometimes we recognize some of the hymns, and we join in in English. Well, Pastor Pierre busted out with this, and at first I didn't even recognize it:



He sang, in English mind you, "Lord Prepare Me to be a Sanctuary", "All in All", "I Love You Lord", and "This is the Day". It was very sweet!



One of the Pastor's 10 kids!



My view driving away:



See the cross in the mountain?





On Monday, Kay and new Sarah (My replacement is also named Sarah! She just graduated from the University of Cincinnati and is doing this as an internship through a missions program in her church. She is pretty great!) and I went shopping. The offices are moving now that Disaster Relief is closing and Haiti Rebuild is starting, so we need to outfit the new place. We found this guy- notice his mischievous special design and try his handsome appearance :) :



We also went to the grocery store and found... wait for it... SALSA! I have been CRAVING salsa for the past couple of weeks, and it was glorious! Kay and Sarah:



I can barely contain my excitement!



On Wednesday Dennis, who has been my supervisor during my time here, and who is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, and I went to lunch to a fancy restaurant. I had spaghetti:



My entourage (Please notice the mural in the background. It is more than just mountain peaks...)



Dennis and I in front of the sign. The name translates to "Gold Finger":



Today I am going to work with new Sarah on new Buckets of Hope paperwork, then I am hoping to take my boys Miguelson and Dasy out to lunch.

As glad as I am to be coming home, it is going to be pretty hard to leave Haiti behind...

Picture Catchup

So I am down to my last week here in Port-au-Prince. And it is bittersweet. I am definitely ready to come home, and even though I am still nervous about the future, I am ready to deal with it. But I will miss being here. I will miss telling jokes with Miguelson, little kids shouting "Blanc!" (White!) when we drive by, and I will miss feeling intimately connected with what God is doing among the poor of Haiti. I have a feeling I won't be able to really quit this place. :)

I do have some pictures! Last week I visited an orphanage in Bon Repos on behalf of some American missionaries. They are getting sponsors for children there, and she needed some pictures. So I very very willingly obliged her. Kay (part of the new permanent staff here) and I spent the afternoon there. This is where my future son lives, and it was good to hug him again. :)

Here is a selection of the MANY pictures I took:









I LOVE THIS BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY









I cannot even describe how sweaty I was. I was taking pictures in the direct sunlight, and, as it turns out, HAITI IS EXCEPTIONALLY HOT.



I brought them some suckers for after I took their picture. You would have thought I handed them $500 bills!





I handed my camera to Miguelson while I talked to the pastor, and when I loaded my pictures that evening, I had an entire series of these.



One of the boys, he was 15, was fascinated by my camera. So I let him take this picture and the next two...

Devotion

I get a short devotional from Relevant Magazine every morning, and it is incredible to me how so many of them speak to my exact situation at present. This is this morning's, and I am thankful for it:

The Somber Side of Passion

By Winn Collier

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:30-31 TNIV

FRANKLY, I'M TIRED OF the word passion. It's a good word, a zesty word. It hints of a fire in the belly, an eagerness and an excitement that sends shivers up the spine. The problem is that it's lopsided. To be passionate, it would seem, is to tingle with anticipation (always), to possess a rapid-beating heart and a wild-eyed exuberance (always). It's the spiritual life on caffeine.

I wonder if spiritual passion could embrace more subtleties and other seasons that would give us a fuller appreciation for the spiritually awakened soul.

Jesus suggested as much. "When you are at the end of your rope ... When you feel you've lost what is most dear to you ... When you are torn apart with hunger ..."—these are times Jesus says the life of God can take deep root (Matthew 5:1-6). These are times when desire for God, passion if you will, can take on fresh flame.

Jesus was speaking to the weary, the broken, the tired. He did not challenge them to move past their despair, to cheer up with some attempt to view the silver lining in their dark cloud. He encouraged them to embrace their disillusionment, to own their dark place—and find God in it.

What does your spiritual passion look like without the emotional hype or intensity?

Prayer Needed!

A couple of prayer points:

• Buckets. So I mentioned a few posts ago that we had gotten the government to streamline the paper process. While this is true, it is still just one step in the process. The government accepts our paperwork, and then still sits on the containers. Like many third-world countries, one of the hallmarks of bureaucracy here is the bribe system, and we have already paid out almost $60,000 in bribes alone to various government officials. We received a letter today from one of our shipping companies that if we do not also have the rest of their containers empty by the end of next week, they will destroy the contents. Please please please pray that the government will release the containers filled with Buckets of Hope. Pray that God will reach out and grab and change the hearts of those who are essentially stealing from Him. Pray for those who are in desperate need of provisions, especially in light of the next prayer point...
• We have another storm system, yet unnamed, forming off of the coast of South America. Most projected paths have it coming straight over the island of Hispanola. Since you guys prayed Gaston away, I figure you can disperse this one as well. :) Almost a million people still live in tents here in the Port-au-Prince area. Many of them do not have to, but they have learned that if they stay in the tents, relief agencies will provide for them. In fact, some only come to the tents when they hear that food is coming.  For these people, a storm might actually push them back to self-reliance, which is needed. But for more people, the tents are their only option. For them, a major storm would be even more life-threatening than normal. There are no hurricane shelters here. Please pray that the storm will not cause lethal damage here in Haiti. Pray that those people who are taking advantage of the system will return home and allow relief to flow to those who so desperately need it. Pray especially for the children, who have no choice about where they go.

You can track the storm here: http://www.wunderground.com/tropical/tracking/at201092_model.html

And this is the reason we do what we do and pray what we pray:

Blarg. And Statistics.

So I must have hit the wrong button or something, because my camera deleted all of my pictures. I have been saving them to the computer, LUCKILY, but I had some new ones to share! Like taking Mike out to lunch on his last day! Fun with Bill and Miguelson and Dasy at Dominos Pizza! In fact, today's blog was going to be a picture catch up. So just kidding about that.

I AM EXCEPTIONALLY SAD ABOUT THIS.

But never fear, I will take plenty more.

Here is the thing that makes it all worthwhile- CMBH stats since the earthquake of January 12, 2010:

• 352 new churches started- making for a total of 1,233 in the association
• 3,484 baptisms
• 162,306 conversions!!

Ready. Also not.

So I am feeling pretty ready to come home. I just don't know that I am ready for what is facing me.

As of now, the plan is for me to move to Tennessee to live with my parents for a few months when I return. When I agreed to come back to Haiti, I knew this was a strong possibility, but I was hoping that it wouldn't happen. Not that I don't love you, Mom. :) I just love St. Augustine and my family there so much.

Some people may not know the back story- I have been feeling led for a while to go back to graduate school. Specifically I am looking at a Masters in Public Policy at the University of Minnesota. I would go for a concentration in Nonprofit Leadership and Global Policy. Being here in Haiti working in the administrative side of the ministry has reaffirmed these desires. As frustrating as dealing with the Haitian government and other NGOs is, I love it, and especially love being able to see the results of our work.

For example, the scary Buckets of Hope paperwork. It is complicated, and detailed, and has to be done a very specific way. But we were able to convince the Haitian government officials to streamline the process, and in the past few days we have had 18 containers freed and distributed! Friday I finished the paperwork for 25 more, then Saturday 6 more, and now I have one more in the works. Praise God! This is the kind of thing that actually makes me feel like I have accomplished something.

So back to the future- I really feel strongly that I want to go to grad school in the most fiscally responsible way possible. My goal is to work in the nonprofit/ministry world afterwards, which will mean no money. Which is fine, but I don't want to leave school drowning in loans that will not allow me to take whatever opportunity God has for me. And as much as I loved teaching, I simply was not making enough money at my private school job to cover my bills and save. So I quit, trusting that God would provide.

I had a couple of public school interviews, but nothing worked out. I could probably find a job in St. Augustine to pay my bills, but the goal for this year is to be able to save save save. The most practical way to do that would be to be in a place where I don't have to pay any bills. Which means back with the folks. There are lots of job opportunities in the Pigeon Forge area, and because I will have almost no expenses I can take a job that pays less and still put away quite a bit.

Although this makes perfect rational sense, my heart is heavy. Especially since I feel like I have had to make all of these big decisions so far away. I was really hoping for something to open up in FL, but at this point it does not look like that will happen. I am feeling rushed into this, and like I am not going to have time to adequately close the most incredible chapter of my life.

I have two more weeks here, and am trying my best to savor the rest of my experience. But I am so tired- there are no days off when you live at the office. And Mike, who has absolutely been my SANITY, is leaving on Wednesday to go back to Colorado. :( As good as the food is, I am very ready for something different. Salads! Dairy! Fresh vegetables! Chickfila!

So that is what is going through my mind at the moment. It is also what is keeping  me up at night. Sorry if this was rambly. :) If I may be so bold and selfish, I would ask that you would pray that I will have peace, and that God's will for my life would be evident. (You can also pray that it will keep me in St. Augustine another year. I know I am.)

I just don't think I am ready to leave my favorite boys:

Prison

Last time I was in Haiti, Kim and I visited a women's prison in an area of Port-au-Prince called Petion-ville. Having grown up with a Dad who was in and out of prison for 20 years (to use one of his favorite jokes- haha), it was particularly moving to me. The warden is a Christian, and asked for lots of prayer. What she told us about the women was shocking:

• Out of the approximately 280 women held there, only 25 have been through the legal system. The rest are caught in a legal limbo, as the justice buildings all collapsed in the earthquake and no records are kept electronically.
• Most are being charged with kidnapping or violent crime. However, if a woman is being beat by her husband and tries to flee with her kids and he reports her, that is violent crime. If a woman is being raped and fights back, that is violent crime.
• The warden said that she would not be surprised if up to 70% of the women jailed in her institution are innocent.
• Because of the circumstances that brought them to prison, many enter pregnant. They are allowed to keep their babies for 3 months, then a family member has to come take them. If there are not available family, the child is taken to an orphanage.

I was really affected by visiting this dark place. It was the one time I had a breakdown on my last trip, so when I knew I was coming back I wanted to make it back. And I have! Last week I took a Canadian team on an exploratory mission. We prayed with the warden, found out specifically what she would need, and prayed with the women in the clinic.

This week we have had several containers of Buckets of Hope released from customs, and I was authorized to take 300 to the prison. So we set it up with the warden, I grabbed the Kentucky ministry team, and we headed out.

This time was really really intense. While the guys unloaded the Buckets from the truck, the ladies and translators and I were actually let into the cell block, which we were not allowed to do on any of my other trips. We walked from door to door, peering in the bars and greeting the women. It was appaling. In rooms approximately 10x10, and most probably smaller than that, 12-16 women were housed. Some rooms were slightly larger, and one had 27 women living there! The halls were filthy, and the rooms were absolutely disgusting. I had to step over several rat traps. (Luckily, none had rats in them!)

I approached each door and told them that my name was Sarah, I was here from America to tell them that Jesus loves them and I love them and that they are not forgotten. They are special and God has a plan for their life. The women were very attentive and smiled and laughed at my Creole attempts. I told them "God bless you" in Creole, and they all said "Amen!" and repeated it back to me. Going from room to room and seeing the same thing over and over was overwhelming. I had to make a concerted effort not to cry. I thought of how ridiculous it was for the white girl to cry when these women were living this reality day to day.

The prisoners can't use all the stuff in the Buckets- the rice and spaghetti for example- so those items headed back to the kitchen. We stacked the peanut butter and sugar, and then they brought out the women one cell at a time and we handed them the food and gave them a tract. I made eye contact with every woman and told her God Bless You in Creole. Almost all of the women looked back and smiled, and only a few didn't. They will receive the buckets themselves later, which will help with protecting their food and valuables.

What was really interesting was to see the reaction of our Haitian workers. We had a couple of translators and security guards, and they were all nervous about going there. Antonio, a translator, said that he never wanted to come back, and that he was ashamed that his people were doing this to their own people. Fennel, our security guard, stood behind me while we gave out the food. He kept saying "This is so sad" and "I am going to go home and hug my wife so many times." He actually knew one of the women- apparently her husband died with unpaid debts, so she was arrested. He said, "Sarah. She has 10 kids at home. What are they doing without her?" We were standing with our backs to one of the rooms, and it had windows in the wall (bricks designed with holes in them so that you don't have to buy glass), and Fennel said "Turn around and look- they are reading the Gospel to each other.) And sure enough, one woman was standing in the middle of the cell reading the tract, and the rest were listening intently and looking through theirs.

I know this is a lot of typing, but it was probably one of the most heart-wrenching and beautiful experiences that I have ever had. As I have been reading and thinking and praying about justice and what it means and how it works in the Kingdom of God for a few years now, it was so overwhelming to be in a place where there is literally no justice. One of the Kentucky women remarked that in the U.S., people would be arrested for keeping their dogs in conditions like these women were in. And it is true. And it is terrible.

I prayed for God to put a word on my heart for these ladies, and this is where He led me. It is excerpts, as I don't know what background they have in Scripture and I didn't want to confuse them. So it comes from Isaiah 43:1-7 ish, and it is my prayer that these women will know this in their souls and feel it in their hearts:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One, your Savior.

Because you are precious in my eyes,

and honored, and I love you,

I give men in return for you,

peoples in exchange for your life.

Fear not, for I am with you;

I will bring your offspring from the east,

and from the west I will gather you.

I will say to the north, Give up,

and to the south, Do not withhold;

bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the end of the earth,

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

We weren't allowed to take pictures in the cell blocks, but the guys got a couple unloading the truck:

A trip to the mountains

On Tuesday, Mike and I took a much appreciated day trip up to the Baptist Mission at Fermathe. It is nestled in the mountains and has a museum, gift shop, restaurant, and the incredible zoo that Kim and I went to last time. (See my Haiti Facebook album for photographic evidence.) It was nice to feel the cool breeze, eat some American food, and visit the most random museum ever.

We weren't allowed to take pictures in the museum, but it was just as ridiculous as the zoo. One display had posters and artifacts from the Haitian dictatorship of Papa Doc Duvalier. The one across had fossils from the Grand Canyon. The next had memorabilia from the Pope's visit. And the next had a dried up owl. Not taxidemy, just dry and gross. They did have some pretty interesting stuff on Voodoo, and lots of tools and information on local practices. They also had money from all over the world- random. Mike and I decided that this was probably a museum for Haitians, who would not get a chance to see any of these things since there are no other museums or similar cultural venues here. But it was still pretty interesting for us.

After leaving the Mission, we headed over to the radio towers, where a lookout spot provides a view of the entire city of Port-au-Prince. It was an amazing sight. Actually, there were two Americans who got engaged right before we arrived, which is kind of funny. :) From where we stood, PaP looked almost peaceful. But we knew better.

While we were there, the clouds rolled in and were lovely. I only snapped a few pictures, but here is what I got:





My boys :)



Miguelson being silly- we were trying to identify the plant but were unsuccessful



Reminds me of the Smoky Mountains!







Views of Port-au-Prince- it has been dry here because the storm activity in the tropics are pulling away all of the normal moisture in the air. So that leaves us with a very dusty city, and makes for not super clear pictures.





Can you see the Presidential Palace right in the middle?



There's Mike! His camera died, so I was gracious enough to risk mine breaking to snap a picture for his family. :)



All of the little dots in the bottom middle of this picture are tents.





It was a lovely day and I was very glad to go. When we are in the midst of the pain for so long, it can be useful to gain some perspective.

Please continue to pray for the weather situation here! Gaston is losing steam, but may still dump a whole bunch of water on us. Which is not great for people living in tents. There is another storm forming right behind Gaston that Dennis, my boss here, is more concerned about.

I went back to the women's prison today, and have lots to share, but need some time to decompress and sort my thoughts. Here is what I do know- God is good, He is just, and we need to take this message to a world that is dying without Him.